Hello,
My name is Alexander De Jordy, I'm a 31-year-old Torontonian, and the goal of my life is to BECOME LOVE. What does that mean? It means I'm trying to make all of my actions patient, forgiving, grateful and compassionate so I can live in peace and help others do the same. As an equation, it would look like this:
Peace = Love (Patience + Forgiveness + Gratitude + Compassion)
But just like watching me try to do simple math, becoming Love is not easy. In fact, I think it’s the hardest goal a person can have. It requires learning to override all the unconscious thoughts and actions that cause us pain, with conscious thoughts and actions that bring us joy—this is called taming the mind.
Taming the mind is a daily battle, but I’ve been at this battle for many years and I’ve picked up a lot of experience along the way. That's why I wrote:
It's a little book that teaches you exactly how to tame your mind by practicing patience, forgiveness, gratitude and compassion—or what I call: The 4 Practical Actions of Love. Everything I know about how to BECOME LOVE is in that book (and the follow-up Coaching Edition—for people who want help getting started or need help staying focused).
But the more I practice, the more I have to say. That’s why I’m starting The Become Love Blog. I want to provide weekly tips and advice for others who are also working to BECOME LOVE. Maybe that's you? On the Blog, I'm going to share what I've learned, what I use, what I watch, and what I'm still struggling with—all in the hopes that reading about my practice can help you improve your own.
An Intro to Alexander
A little bit more about me: I used to be a successful film & television actor but I stopped in 2019 because I was lost in life. I was in so much pain because I didn’t have control of my mind. No matter how much money I had, how successful I was, or how many cool places I’d been—my mind was never at peace. I was always either anxious about people liking me, struggling with substance abuse, or depressed. So I quit acting, quit pretending to be other people, and tried learning how to be myself.
And who I am is a person who likes to practice. I grew up playing competitive tennis and that mindset of "practice makes better" has stuck with me ever since. Practice is simple: If you want to get better at something, you do that thing over and over (ex: If you want to hit better serves, you practice hitting serves.) And I wanted to become a more Loving person so I could finally live in peace! But how do I practice that? I looked everywhere for the answer.
I tried religion and spirituality, and while I've stolen invaluable wisdom from both, ultimately, the way they're written and taught wasn't practical enough. Yes, I knew I should be more forgiving, but how do I practice forgiveness every day? I tried therapy. Again, very helpful—I knew I should be more compassionate towards myself ... but how do I practice compassion every day? I tried different self-help approaches and found they’re all very good at explaining What needs to happen (I need to change my behaviour), but not so great at explaining How. How do I change my behaviour when my mind really, really, really doesn’t want to? It's easy to think we can override our minds, but actually doing it is really, really hard.
So, like with most things in life, I decided to do it the hard way. I developed my own program—The Become Love Program—for becoming a more Loving person through learning to control our thoughts and actions by putting patience, forgiveness, gratitude and compassion into a conscious action. Or in other words, "practicing Love." After two years of perfecting the program, I self-published my work.
And guess what? Practicing Love works! I went from being a moody, depressed, practicing drug addict who couldn’t spend 10 minutes alone with my own thoughts, to spending every day joyfully at peace. Well, most days. When I practice. Some days I’m running late and the guy on the subway who hits me with his backpack gets a look that could kill. It’s still a daily struggle, this becoming Love thing. I’m not perfect. But I am better. So much better I feel ready to help others.
So that’s what The Become Love Blog is about: me helping you as best as I can.
What The Blog Does For You
Posts will be a mix of:
Stories about my own practices (successes and failures)
Actionable tips you can practice right away & throughout the week
Sharing of useful resources that make practicing Love a little easier (including recommendations for conscious entertainment—entertainment about people practicing Love)
Your New Become Love Coach
I call myself a Become Love Coach, because I teach people how to become the most Loving version of themselves. But honestly, I'm not comfortable with the word "coach." It makes me feel like I should be perfect at the thing I'm coaching. But I'm not. All I know is that I do have a lot of valuable practices to teach. And I'm still a tennis player at heart, so the person who teaches you how to practice is called "coach."
You can think of me as a personal trainer for your mind, or maybe just like a fun workout buddy. Except instead of lifting weights, we're practicing patience, forgiveness, gratitude and compassion so we can become the most Loving version of ourselves. I really don’t want to come across as an authority (which I know is bad for business), but authority makes me feel weird. I'm just someone who’s put in the work and now feels confident I can teach other people some important things. If that's you, and I can teach you something useful—that's awesome; that makes my day. You wanna get some food after this?
I look forward to practicing with you.
Good Love,
Alexander De Jordy
Become Love Coach
Founder, The Become Love Company
(By the way, you can read The Guide for free here.)