THE PRACTICAL GUIDE TO
BECOMING LOVE

This is the BECOME LOVE sit-down meditation technique, designed to help you practice Love.

 

Sit somewhere comfortable where you won’t fall asleep. The position of your legs is not important, it only matters that you stay attentive. Lotus position is good for back alignment, but it’s physically difficult. Half-lotus is good. Cross-legged is good. Chair with a back, sitting with proper posture is also good.

 

No lying down. No headphones. No music. No incense. No alarms. Just you and your untamed mind. Everything else is unnecessary and becomes a distraction.

 

Breathe long breaths from your belly, in and out from your nose. Practice breathing from your belly throughout the day so it becomes natural.

 

Rest the tip of your tongue gently on the back of your lower teeth to avoid tongue tension. Keep your mouth slightly open to avoid jaw tension. Your hands can be in any relaxed position.

 

Refrain from fidgeting, itching, clearing your throat. These are unconscious actions that will distract you. If an itch is distracting, that's okay, practice not giving in to distractions.

 

Before you close your eyes, say to yourself out loud, “I am going to practice replacing unconscious mentations with conscious thoughts.” You’ve just made your intentions clear. Stick to your intentions.

 

Now close your eyes and focus only on your breath. Count your breaths to 10. Your first inhale is 1, first exhale is 2. Up to 10. Then start again from 1. That’s one cycle. Complete as many cycles as needed until you notice your mentations are slowing down. The more you practice, the better you will get at feeling when this happens. Aim for a minimum of two cycles and a maximum of five minutes counting breaths. You do not need to set an alarm. This sit-down technique isn't strict on timing. Timing is arbitrary and becomes a distraction. Better to focus on the number of cycles you can complete.

 

The reason we do this warm-up exercise is because it takes time to wrestle the mind from "mentation mode" to "meditation mode." Don’t force your mind to practice until you have prepared your mind. It will feel like this:

 

(Inhale) 1.... (Exhale) 2... Mentation: 'This is boring.' (DOWN)

 

Remember, mentations don't come as fully formed thoughts. It will come to you like an urge to stop meditating along with the thought fragment, '...boring...' which will make you feel uncomfortable.

 

Every time that happens, return your focus to your breath and keep counting. This is how we practice.

 

(Inhale) 3... (Exhale) 4... Mentation: 'Has it been five minutes?' (PAST)

 

Return your focus to your breath and keep counting. Over, and over, and over again, continue this practice until your mind mentates less, or up to around five minutes.

 

If five minutes of counting your breaths is all you can manage for a while, that's okay. But you must keep at it every day until you can stand meditating longer than five minutes. It will require you to push past feeling uncomfortable. The more you practice, the faster you progress.

 

Now for the training exercise of this sit-down meditation technique. When you notice your mentations are slowing, or after five minutes, repeat to yourself slowly and silently:

 

Love...

Love... patience...

Love... patience... forgiveness...

Love... patience... forgiveness... gratitude...
Love... patience... forgiveness... gratitude... compassion...

Love... patience... forgiveness... gratitude... compassion... Love...

Love... patience... forgiveness... gratitude... compassion...

Love... patience... forgiveness... gratitude...

Love... patience... forgiveness...

Love... patience...

Love...

Love...

Love... patience...

(repeat)

 

That is one cycle.

For the multi-syllabic words, sound out each syllable (pa·tience, for·give·ness, grat·i·tude, com·pass·ion). After each word, pause slightly. In these pauses, unconscious mentations will arise. Use the next word to replace that unconscious mentation with a conscious thought. You just replaced old code with new code. This is why we practice.

As you become more comfortable with sit-down meditation, lengthen the pauses between words. Start with less than 1 second. Then 1 second. Then 2 seconds. Eventually, each cycle should take around three minutes. That’s the speed. It's very slow.

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Repeating five cycles of the words with a 2-second pause in between each word will be around 15 minutes per sit-down meditation session. 15 minutes is enough. You don't need to set an alarm. It is okay if you practice 14 or 16 minutes. For a while, you can check the time before starting, then check the time after finishing. Eventually, let go of the time and just practice. But always finish a cycle before choosing to end a session.

 

Your goal with this sit-down meditation technique is to warm up by counting your breaths, then repeat five cycles of the words for around 15 minutes. That's it.

 

Constantly check to make sure you are not mindlessly repeating the words while mentating about something else. When you notice you are, return your focus to the words. Use the words to return your untamed mind from The 4 Directions of Mentation. By repeating the words, you practice overriding old code with new code. This is how you BECOME LOVE.

 

If you get lost, or lose track, start from the beginning of your last cycle. There is no value in scolding yourself, just restart. This practice is about getting better, not about being perfect. The goal of life is not to sit down in meditation, you sit down in meditation to practice the goal: BECOME LOVE. If it’s hard, that means you need the practice.

 

A minimum of one sit-down session per day. Preferably two. It’s like brushing your teeth. Your teeth won’t rot if you brush one time. But not as clean as two.

 

The best time of the day to practice is a few minutes after you wake up. This starts your day consciously, influencing your behaviour for the rest of the day. Other good times to sit are right before lunch, the sleepiest time of the afternoon, and right before sleep.

 

Sit-down meditation will dramatically change your life. It is absolutely necessary if you want to BECOME LOVE. But it is only training.

 

You sit-down meditate, so that as you go through your day, you will be able to stand-up meditate.